San Diego Child Therapy specialist shares How Parents Can Foster Better Decision-Making Skills in Their Kids through Art Making.
Providing children opportunities to make decisions, without parent involvement builds decision-making muscles. With my training in Art Therapy, I often incorporate artmaking into child therapy and family therapy sessions. I find that artmaking provides opportunities for children to express what they think and feel.
Additionally, artmaking is often an independent activity filled with decisions to be made. Children are deciding on the size, shape, and color. They must decide to use a marker, a pencil, or paint. They’re deciding how to plan the use of space, navigating the boundaries of the page, and choosing the direction of the paper. They get to decide where to start and stop on the page.
Best Approach to Art Activities for Developing Decision-Making Skills.
When children have opportunities for unstructured play, many of them will spend time creating. That creation may be with blocks, or scenarios with play figures, dolls, and stuffed animals. Having opportunities to create drawings, paintings, and 3-D art objects is also a form of unstructured play that has the added benefit of the occasional unintended oops that can foster learning and discovery.
When parents “plan” art projects, a child can be hindered from naturally exploring. My recommendation as an Art Therapist is to allow children to have access to a variety of materials, including different sizes and types of paper. And you may be thinking to yourself, “But where are the limits? My child makes huge messes”.
Providing the Right Kind of Limits
As a parent, it may feel appealing to provide limited art material choices. For example, only providing a small box of crayons or coloring pencils and some 8 ½ x 11 white paper. I understand some of this is driven by not wanting to deal with the aftermath of art making. Yet, having access to a variety of art materials aids kids in creating all sorts of things from their imagination.
Let things be more open-ended as to what to make. Be more specific in the limits of the where and how. For example, art can be created at this table in the garage or on the patio. Be clear about the importance of cleaning up materials and putting them away after creating art.
Creating Art with Your Children
If you are joining your child in the art-making process, then follow your child’s lead. Avoid giving directions or suggestions. As a parent, it can be tempting to “teach” kids how to use art materials. Instead, stay curious by observing and reporting what you see rather than asking lots of questions. Something like, “Now I see you’re using the marker to make dots”.
When your child completes their artwork, ask if there is a story that goes along with their picture or painting. Allow them to share the details. To help them reflect on the decisions they made, you might ask, “I see you used red for the flowers. How did you decide to use red, and not another color?”. Your child may say, “I don’t know”, and that’s okay, they may not know. Over time when you observe your child deciding, in art or play, you can point it out. Helping them to become aware of their decision-making abilities.
Family Dynamics that Can Hinder Instead of Foster Decision-Making Skills
As a parent and a Child Therapist who works with families, I often see dynamics play out in families that hinder a child’s decision-making skills. While most parents desire their children to develop independent thinking skills, parents sometimes get in the way.
Here are three ways parents unintentionally get in the way:
Over-functioning in your parenting role. When you do things for your child, like making choices for them that are age-appropriate decisions for your child to make they miss the opportunity to build that skill.
Being critical or over-reactive of your child’s mistakes. This can create a sense that mistakes are bad and should be avoided at all costs. Children would rather please you than make a bad decision.
Over-protecting your child from undesired consequences of a bad decision. We do our best to protect from true danger or harm, but sometimes as a parent, it’s easy to underestimate how facing challenges builds stronger more resilient kids.
Free consultation for San Diego Child Therapy
If your child struggles with decision-making, and you would like to learn how to create family dynamics that encourage your child, I provide parent coaching.
If you are looking for a therapist for your child, I provide Child Therapy in San Marcos, CA. I'm also an Art Therapist who uses art processes with my clients. I help them feel more at ease, providing a way to express difficult feelings and learn new ways of coping.
Click here to visit my contact page. There you can check my availability, and book a free, phone consultation.
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Tami