How a Therapist Copes with Stress, Anxiety, and the Hard Stuff.
As a therapist in San Marcos, CA, I know many therapists. Most of us are trained in the importance of not self-disclosing to our clients, for various reasons.
I know clients often become curious about their therapist once a relationship has been established. It’s common to wonder about the life they lead.
In most relationships, things are reciprocal. In a therapy relationship, it’s not. Your therapist is not your friend, though they may be the only person you have shared some of your deepest struggles and pain with. Your therapist may also be the only person in your life who you feel listens to you, so it’s weird that they aren’t your friend, and you know so little about them. That said, the therapists I know care deeply about their clients.
I thought I would peel back one aspect of my life and talk about how I, as a therapist, cope with stress, anxiety, and the hard stuff. While these are not exhaustive lists, they are the things I learned to do consistently over time to take care of my overall health.
Dealing with Stress
From the outside looking in, therapy appears to be a less stressful career. However, the burnout rate for therapists is high. Many therapists get overwhelmed by the stress of being with people trying to heal from trauma, walking through grief, or coping with a host of life challenges.
Here are the things I do to deal with daily stress.
Move my body to strengthen and relax my mind and body. My preference is swimming or walking. Exercise helps me be more resilient to stress.
Minimize stimulant intake. I drink coffee in the morning, but I’ve noticed that too much can prevent me from sleeping deeply.
Listen to music and use it as a tool to influence my mood. I find native American flute music soothing. Nature sounds also feel calming.
Pray to God. Belief in a power greater than myself helps me to let things go.
Nourish my body with healthy food, but I allow myself treats as well.
Think about good, beautiful, and positive things. Limiting news, social media, and overstimulation from electronics helps me feel less stressed.
Lie down, set a timer for 15-20 minutes, to rest my eyes, and thus get a brain break.
Nurture relationships and ask for help when I need help.
Art. As an Art Therapist, I tend to doodle to help distract my mind. It provides a short mental break.
Dealing with Anxiety
This is similar to the first list; however, anxiety has a lot to do with thoughts and fears about the future.
Manage my stress (see above) because if I’m managing my stress, I tend not to get as anxious about a whole host of things.
Pray to God. Often, when people feel anxious, they underestimate their resources to cope. When I pray to God, I am asking for strength, courage, provision, etc., for the future.
Practice deep breathing. If I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep, I practice deep, belly breaths. When I’m driving in thick freeway traffic, I’m definitely breathing deeply and possibly listening to soothing music.
Working with art materials gets me out of my head if I’m overthinking.
Lift weights. Lifting weights and stretching help ground my body.
Express Gratitude. Thinking about what I am grateful for in any situation helps me feel more in the moment and less likely to be worried about the future.
Dealing with Hard Stuff
Hard Stuff is a large category that includes trauma, grief, and loss. Marriage struggles, raising children, and caregiving for parents are also hard stuff.
See all the above. When I am going through hard stuff, it’s stressful, and I can struggle with anxiety about the parts of the hard stuff that I have no control over.
Laughter. I like to binge comic specials on Netflix and old sitcoms with a laugh track. It may sound lame, but hearing others’ laughter makes me feel lighter.
Connecting with people who love me and can be with me when I’m struggling, versus people who can’t sit with pain, and want me to just “get over it”.
Art and journaling. As an Art Therapist, letting go of the hard stuff a client shares in a session is hard. Rather than carry that hard stuff within me, I try to create art and or write about the feelings I’m struggling with afterward. The same goes for dealing with my own hard stuff.
Reading and listening to stories of people who have overcome hard stuff. When I learn about others overcoming odds, persevering through struggles, it lifts me to a place of also wanting to persevere and overcome.
Therapy support. As a therapist, sitting in therapy as a client has helped me walk through the hard stuff. Having someone you can talk to, who has empathy, tools, and guidance, really can support you when you’re going through the challenges of life.
Complimentary Phone Consultation with a Therapist in San Marcos, CA, helping Adults and Children with Stress, Anxiety, and other Hard Stuff.
If you’re getting through all the dailies and taking care of yourself, but it’s just not enough, it may be time to reach out to a therapist. You may need to address underlying issues that are contributing to your stress and anxiety, or process and heal from past losses.
My name is Tami, and I offer anxiety therapy for adults and children, grief counseling for children and adults, and art therapy in person and online throughout California.
If you’re ready to get help for the anxiety and hard stuff that is impacting your family, reach out today through the link below to book a free phone call.