Your child holds it together all day at school and then comes home and falls apart.

Maybe it’s in the car.
Maybe it’s over something small.
Maybe it feels like it comes out of nowhere.

And you’re left wondering…what just happened?

If you are parenting in San Diego right now, this rhythm may feel familiar. Back-to-school and end-of-school transitions, holidays, performances, travel planning, and the pressure to make everything meaningful can create a level of stress that is hard to name, let alone manage.

This is where many parents begin searching for ways to cope with the stress, or work with a parenting coach for support, not because something is wrong, but because everything feels like too much.

You can see the wheels turning in their head. The more they think about what could happen, the worse they feel.

Adults who come to therapy, often have developed unhelpful ways of coping with their anxiety. Parents who reach out to me about child therapy want their children to learn better ways to cope with anxiety.

It is within the context of being a therapist and dealing with my own share of parent guilt that I share “3 things kids wish you knew but don’t know how to tell you”.  If it’s any consolation, my kids didn’t know how to tell me some things either.

I’m going to start with the trap. “Do you like it?” This is the common question that children ask adults, especially parents, as they excitedly show you their latest drawing or painting. As parents, we often automatically answer, “Yes, of course, I like it”. “That’s so beautiful!”.

I see the influence of “devices” every day on kids. I base this on my observations over the years of working with parents and children. As a therapist in San Marcos working with elementary school-aged children, I see three ways children are negatively impacted.

My list below includes 7 things to remember, contained in the acronym, “RESPOND”. How you purposely choose to respond to your children amid grief, loss, and other stressful events is incredibly important.

I recently had the privilege of writing a Guest blog for another therapist in San Marcos, Diana Trevino of Trevino Counseling and Wellness.

The blog shares 6 tips on calmly parenting an anxious child, when you also struggle with anxiety.

Providing children opportunities to make decisions, without parent involvement builds decision-making muscles. With my training in Art Therapy, I often incorporate artmaking into child therapy and family therapy sessions. I find that art-making provides opportunities for children to express their self and communicate what they think and feel.

Guest Author: Irina Baechle, LCSW and licensed relationship therapist.

When you have children, you can count on a certain amount of anxiety. But worry and fear about the well-being of your children can quickly spiral out of control and impair your everyday life, relationships, and welfare.

Homeschooling lends itself to more outside-the-box thinking. Homeschool parents have a unique opportunity to offer a much wider range of creative experiences and art materials even without art experience and a limited budget.

As I have provided therapy for kids, many have wrestled with anxiety, for various reasons. It's not uncommon for kids to have worries about their own safety. They also worry that something bad will happen to their parents. During the pandemic, these fears heightened for many children.

As a therapist who provides therapy for children, here are three myths that I’ve encountered that people sometimes believe about therapy for kids. These myths contribute to families not getting help. They also add to the stigma around mental health treatment.       

The most natural thing when a child is in distress is to help them, to assist them in some way. That help often comes in the form of information, advice, and solutions.  While children may need your information, they first need to feel connected to you.  I don’t know the origin of the idea, but these words have always stuck with me, “Connect before your correct”.  However, it seems for many parents and other adults it’s easier to correct or try to “fix” a child, and then try to connect with them. 

Parenting is hard, so this is definitely not a drive-by-guilting. Sometimes you feel anxious about the things your family, and ultimately your child is going through at school or at home. You wonder if your kid should see a child therapist. One thing I have witnessed over the years is that if a parent can remain relatively calm and take care of themselves, no matter what the issue, their kids cope better.

Your child loves art.

As a parent, you want to connect more, but art is just not your thing. On top of that, you know that creating art has the potential for a lot of mess, and frankly, it just feels overwhelming.

I know many parents feel uncomfortable with making art or handling art materials at home. There can be an element of chaos and mess that can feel overwhelming. If this, is you, read on!

Yes, you read that right…ways you can increase your child’s anxiety. I really wish when my children were younger someone would have told me that as a parent I may be at times my child’s greatest source of anxiety.